The Rap Guide to Evolution: Revised

by Baba Brinkman

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about

Scientifically peer-reviewed hip-hop album exploring Charles Darwin's theory of evolution by means of natural selection. Revised version produced by Mr. Simmonds.

Exclaim Magazine Review:
"An intelligent and fun album that will have you looking at music in a whole new way."
exclaim.ca/Reviews/HipHop/baba_brinkman-rap_guide_to_evolution_revised

New Scientist Magazine Review:
"Brinkman gives eloquent voice to pain without committing a fallacious appeal to nature."
blogs.scientificamerican.com/doing-good-science/2013/03/31/cd-review-baba-brinkman-the-rap-guide-to-evolution-revised/

off-Broadway touring production:
rapguidetoevolution.com

More about Baba Brinkman:
www.bababrinkman.com

Facebook:
www.facebook.com/bababrinkman

Twitter:
www.twitter.com/bababrinkman

More about Mr. Simmonds:
www.mrsimmondsmusic.com

credits

released 26 June 2011

All songs produced, engineered, mixed and mastered by Mr. Simmonds.

Natural Selection 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Guitar: Tom Van Deursen
Cuts: Mr. Simmonds

Black-eyed Peas
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Cuts: Mr. Simmonds

I'm A African 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Cuts: Mr. Simmonds

Creationist Cousins 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall

Survival Of The Fittest 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall

Group Selection 2.0
Featuring Smoky Tiger, The Boom Booms & Dizraeli
D. Brinkman, E. Brinkman, A. Courtnage,
A. Ross, S. Ross, J.Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Chorus Vocals: Aaron Nazrul, Sean Ross,
Smoky Tiger, Dizraeli
Outro Vocals: Aaron Nazrul, Sean Ross,
Smoky Tiger, Dizraeli, Erik Brinkman

Worst Comes To Worst 2.0
Featuring Dizraeli
D. Brinkman, R. Sawday, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Guitar: Dizraeli

Dr. Tatiana
Featuring Helen Arney
H. Arney, D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Ukulele: Helen Arney

Sexual Selection 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall

Hypnotize 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Chorus Vocals: Noa Bodner

Used To Be The Man
Featuring Aaron Nazrul
D. Brinkman, A. Ross, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Guitar: Tom Van Deursen
Outro Vocals: The Boom Booms

Don't Sleep With Mean People
D. Brinkman, S. Kendall
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Guitars: Tom Van Deursen

Performance, Feedback, Revision 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall
Cuts: J. Simmonds

Darwin's Acid 2.0
D. Brinkman, J. Simmonds
Additional Keys: Simon Kendall

tags

license

all rights reserved

feeds

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Track Name: Natural Selection 2.0
“Whoever is lead to believe that species are mutable, will do good service by conscientiously expressing his conviction, for only thus can the load of prejudice by which this subject is overwhelmed, be removed.”
Charles Darwin, Origin of Species

So what-ch-you know about Natural Selection? Go ahead
And ask a question and see where the answer gets you
Try bein’ passive aggressive or try smashin’ heads in
And see which tactic brings your plans to fruition
And if you have an explanation in mind, then you’re
Wastin’ your time, ‘cause the best watchmaker is blind
It takes a certain base kind of impatient mind
To explain away nature with “intelligent design”
But the truth shall set you free
From those useless superstitious beliefs
In a literal Adam and Eve, and that Edenic myth
‘Cause their family tree is showin’ some genetic drift
Take it from this bald-headed non-celibate monk
With the lyrical equivalent of an elephant’s trunk
It’s time to elevate your mind-state
And celebrate your kinship with the primates

The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on?
We lived in the dark for so long
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is dead wrong

“The view which most naturalists entertain…namely that each species has been independently created, is erroneous.”
Charles Darwin, Origin of Species

Okay, it’s time to reveal my identity
I’m the manifestation of tens of millions
Of centuries of sexual selection, best believe
I’m the best of the best of the best of the best
Of generations of competitive pressure genetically
But don’t get upset, ‘cause we’ve got the same pedigree
You and I will find a common ancestor eventually
If we rewind geological time regressively
And I could say the same for this hibiscus tree
And this lizard and this flea and this sesame seed
And if you still disbelieve in what your senses perceive
Then I could even use this rhyme as a remedy
‘Cause there’s so much variation in the styles in this industry
And differential survival when the people listening
Decide what they’re into and what really isn’t interesting
You could thrive like Timberlake on a Timberland beat
Or go extinct like Vanilla Ice and N’Sync
It’s survival of the fittest, but fitness is a tricky thing
It changes from place to place and from winter to spring
But the real question in this social-scientific simile
Is heredity, whether we inherit our techniques
From our predecessors, or invent them independently
But then we’re talkin’ memes and that’s a different thing
Richard Dawkins can I get a proper definition please?

The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on?
We lived in the dark for so long
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is dead wrong
The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on?
Whoever leaves the most spawn
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is… erroneous

I hear some people complain, like “I don’t wanna be an ape!
I never came from monkey DNA!
I believe God made me in a day – Jesus saves!”
Or maybe God uses evolution when He creates?!
Either way, nothing as advanced
And beautiful and intricate as the cosmic dance
Of evolution could possibly happen by chance
We must’ve descended from quadrupeds because of God’s plans!
Stop that – Darwin’s actual theory is
Not chance, and if you think it is you’re delirious
In the non-random survival of random variants
Over time, chance is insufficient but necessary
So intelligent design is impossible
Unless that intelligence is a product of the whole
Such as your own – there’s no God in control
If higher complexity always evolves from low
So let it go! We came from the war of nature
From struggles among fighters, feeders, and fornicators
And we’re nothing but genetic storage containers
And so what? Fuck it, I’m done with you Darwin-haters

The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on
We lived in the dark for so long
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is dead wrong
The weak and the strong, who got it goin’ on?
Whoever leaves the most spawn
The weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin’ on
Creationism is dead wrong
Track Name: Black-eyed Peas
Don’t call it a remix, nah, call it a re-enactment
I’ll teach you how to adapt, from amoebas to rappers
Just open The Origin of Species and read its chapters
And study up on the impact of people’s actions
On farm animals, ducks, cows, dogs
Pigeons, horses, and domestic crops
They had wild ancestors, but somehow they went soft
Kinda like underground rappers goin’ pop
It’s all good, right? One hand washes the other
We protect the cow, and the cow offers the udder
And that’s how we get a mouthful of butter
But in the wild, that cow is not gonna cut it
See, there’s nothing artificial about domestication
Ant colonies keep domestic aphids
It’s still selection, just with a different selecting agent
But you can’t always predict the best arrangement
For instance, humans domesticated black-eyed peas
In West Africa around 7,000 BC
And now they got millions of mouths to feed
While their wild cousins just watch from the weeds

Too many MCs not enough mics
How many MCs wannabe MCs
Too many MCs
You play it in your system every night
Too many MCs
How many MCs Wannabe MCs
Never be MCs
Every woman and man wanna MC
You play it in your system every night

There’s no intentional direction to the selection in nature
It just patiently collects all the best variations
And eventually species differentiate,
But it’s open-ended, there’s no definite destination
And sometimes there’s none in domestication either
You’re just listenin’ to my raps trapped in your speakers
But if enough people just like you plant my seed
Shit, you might turn me into a black eyed pea
You’re like ancient breeders, rearranging the features
Of a species of sheep or increasing the sweetness
Of your peaches every season, when you choose to seed it
Or to feed it or to breed it or to weed it out and delete it
‘Cause you just don’t see it as needed, the preferences in question
Could be for bigger chicken breasts or whippets with a thinner mid-section
Or it could just be an inner predilection to pick the best in
Any mixed collection, that’s artificial selection
You’re a farmer, that’s how it is, you can’t opt out of it
You have no choice but to make choices, you’re helpless
It’s cause time itself is limited, it’s not selfish
It’s just the rap version of the Doctrine of Malthus

Too many MCs not enough mics
How many MCs wannabe MCs
Too many MCs
You play it in your system every night
Too many MCs
How many MCs Wannabe MCs
Never be MCs
Every woman and man wanna MC
You play it in your system every night

Okay, so maybe it isn’t all unconscious
Survival in rap is a non-random process
‘Cause those who get massive responses, influence
Those who aspire to get massive responses
So if you say I sound like an Eminem rip-off
Then I’ll probably get pissed off and start flipping you off
And grabbing my crotch and acting obnoxious
And screaming “Fuck that, dawg, that’s preposterous!”
That’s right, I’m serious, I deny my inheritance
I invented myself from scratch like I’m parentless
So don’t let yourself get caught up in mere appearances
This isn’t just “imitation modified by experience”
Nah, I could never be one of the black eyed peas
‘Cause I don’t imitate black guys, please
I imitate white guys who imitate black guys who lack IDs
‘Cause they’re imitations too, that’s my steez
I’m keepin’ it real, yeah, I’m innovating
My Darwinism keeps the bullshit disintegrating
You want authenticity? Well, this is it, baby
All it takes is ignorance of who you’re imitating
Track Name: I'm A African 2.0
I’m a African, I’m a African
And I know what’s happenin’
I’m a African, I’m a African
Archaeologists know what’s happenin’
You a African? You a African?
Do you know what’s happenin’?
I’m a African, I’m a African
Geneticists know what’s happenin’

No I wasn’t born in Ghana but Africa is my mama
‘Cause that’s where my mama got her mitochondria
You can try to fight if you wanna, but it’s not gonna change me
‘Cause it’s plain to see, Africans are my people
And if it’s not plain to see then your eyes deceive you
I’m talkin’ primeval; the DNA in my veins
Tells a story that reasonable people find believable
But it might even blow your transistors;
Africa is the home of our most recent common ancestors
Which means human beings are all brothers and sisters
So check the massive evidence of Homo erectus
And Australopithecus afarensis in the fossil record
And then try to tell me that we’re not all connected
The fossil record has gaps but no contradictions
And it complements the evidence in your chromosomes
So I came to let you know about your ancestral home

I’m a African, I’m a African
And I know what’s happenin’
I’m a African, I’m a African
Archaeologists know what’s happenin’
You a African? You a African?
Do you know what’s happenin’?
I’m a African, I’m a African
Geneticists know what’s happenin’

Yeah, it’s plain to see, you can’t change me
‘Cause I’ma be a Homo sapien for life
Yeah, it’s plain to see, you can’t change me
‘Cause I’ma be a Homo sapien for life

Yeah, the red is for the blood in my arm – it runs in the veins
Of all my cousins from the same African mom
And the black is for the melanin, which I guess I lost
A mutation with benefits that offset the costs
At least in the North, after massive glaciation
My family passed through some adaptive radiations
We started as Africans, and then became Eurasians
And then one final migration made us Canadians
But it’s back to my origin, ‘cause I understand
For every colour of man, Africa is the motherland
So I’m comin’ back, that’s my right of return
I’m only speakin’ the facts, which I invite you to learn
We came from Africa first; Charles Darwin predicted it
‘Cause that’s where modern chimps and gorillas live
So the green is for the envy in the eyes of intelligent design
Advocates and scientific illiterates

I’m a African, I’m a African
And I know what’s happenin’
I’m a African, I’m a African
Archaeologists know what’s happenin’
You a African? You a African?
Do you know what’s happenin’?
I’m a African, I’m a African
Geneticists know what’s happenin’

Yeah, C-A-N-A-D-A
Asia, U-K, U-S-A
Oz, Tazmania, and Ukraine
No, it ain’t ‘bout where you stay
It’s ‘bout the motherland

M-O-N-G-O-L-I-A
Saudi Arabia and Kuwait
Sweden, Denmark, and Norway
No, it ain’t ‘bout where you stay
It’s ‘bout the motherland
Track Name: Creationist Cousins 2.0
Humans are descended from ape-like ancestors
That’s a scientific fact, but some people still question it
Darwin does have detractors, religious detractors
Not scientific detractors, don’t get the shit backwards
And when they question I listen, they say: “If we came from
Monkeys, then how come there’s monkeys still in existence?”
Well how about this: I’m descended from Dutch immigrants
But I still have second cousins who live in the Netherlands
They’re not my ancestors; naw, they’re my relatives
Since we have common genetic elements
Inherited from our great grandparents, things like freckles
And fair complexions and linguistic dexterousness
But if you got back far enough, humans are all relatives
And some of my relatives are religious fundamentalists
Approximately twenty percent of them
And at the dinner table we debate statistics …

Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em
But when they talk about Jesus and Revelations and Judges
I’ve gotta take it up with them
‘Cause there’s a better explanation for the place that we come from, okay?
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em
But at the dinner table we get on some crazy discussions
I’m always questioning their basic assumptions
And saying, “yes I believe we came from monkeys, okay?”

So I say “Creationism is unscientific
Ninety nine percent of practicing scientists think evolution
Is the best explanation for living systems
There’s overwhelming empirical evidence!”
And they say “Baba, it’s not a scientific consensus
If a significant one percent is still dissenting
And risking black-listing in bold resistance
To this fascist conspiracy to promote secularism
And I say “Great, they can challenge the system
If they can show us they have the evidence with them”
And they “Evidence can be twisted
And your presuppositions are materialistic
Maybe the evidence scientists say they’ve collected
Just proves that God wants our faith to be tested!”
So I say “But that means your benevolent God
Is the architect of a massive intellectual fraud!
So either evolution is the victim of a frame job
Which explains all of its predictive successes
Or we have to take God out of the scientific method
Otherwise he looks a bit deceptive… snap

Creationist cousins they’re my relations I love ‘em
But when they talk about how fossils all came from the flood
I gotta take it up with them, ‘cause there’s a better explanation
For the place that they come from, okay?
Creationist cousins they’re my relations I love ‘em
‘Cause they gave me the patience to engage in discussions
With people who believe in stuff that’s made up
Without calling them crazy or dunces, okay?

And that’s when my sister steps in and says
“Baba, the Western scientific method
Is just as subjective as every other cultural tradition
Except it’s just better at pretending to be objective
All behaviour is socially-constructed
Gender roles have nothing to do with genitals
They’re just a way for men to control women’s goals
And try to turn us all into Playboy centerfolds
Haven’t you heard about that tribe in the Amazon
Where the woman does the man’s jobs and plants the crops
And brings home the food for the man to wash?
Um, I can’t remember exactly what that clan is called
But I know it’s a published fact
Because I read about it in my Women’s Studies class
And it proves that gender is a socially constructed act
So how does your theory explain that?”
And all I can do is come back with more statistics
About human sexual dimorphism
And male versus female reproductive investments
And, let’s just say, the discussions are endless

Creationist cousins they’re my relations I love ‘em
My gender feminist sister and my shamanist brother
And my dad with his reiki practice and my naturopathic mother
But I’m a rational fucker, okay?
Creationist cousins they’re my relations I love ‘em
‘Cause they gave me the patience to engage in discussions
With people who believe in stuff that’s blatantly made up
Without calling them crazy or dunces, okay?

So sometime I come across as a bit of an arsehole
But I’m not impartial – it’s not about who’s is impartial;
It’s about how much evidence you can marshal
And how you deliver the parcel
And when my relatives argue, I have to have faith
That we can reach the genuine article in a rational way
That’s a different kind of faith than my cousins have
In divine creation, but hey, to all of my relatives
And fellow primates, I say
If it makes you feel better, go head and pray
In fact, here’s how I pray in a secular way
I say, “I have creationist relatives and relative apes
And I wish them all happiness, whatever their faith
And I wish myself patience, since I relish debates
Let us all be respectful and still tell it straight”
Okay? Okay?
Track Name: Survival Of The Fittest 2.0
Yeah, sendin’ this one out
To my evolutionary psychologists
Daly and Wilson, Steven Pinker
Robert Wright, David Sloan Wilson
Geoffrey Miller, David Buss what up!
Yeah, we livin’ this to the day that we die
Survival of the fit, only the strong…

There’s a war goin’ on outside no man is safe from
You can run but you can’t hide forever
If you come to my block, you’ll see some territoriality
A place where kill or be killed is the mentality
But get it straight, it’s just a necessary strategy
You gotta play the hand you’re dealt; you can’t magically
Escape from the habitat that you was born in
Three homicides in my neighbourhood this mornin’
Cops came and kicked the crooked door in, with no warnin’
And started roughin’ up my young cousin
She’s only seventeen and got a bun in the oven
Plus a concussion, but she ain’t done nothin’
So keep your mouth shut and don’t jump to judgment
On the lives we’re livin’ – just close your eyes and listen
While I break down some homicide statistics
If you’re thinkin’ the criminal mind is just vacant
You’re mistaken, this is calculated risk takin’
We’re livin’ in a situation with a low
Life-expectancy, and a major discrepancy
Between the haves and have-nots, and you wonder
Why the padlock on every cash box is smashed off
C’mon, you can’t call it “pathological”
Naw, that’s illogical; you can try to understand it
But you can’t stop it though, not unless you address
The root causes, the conscious and unconscious
Decisions to discount future prospects
C’mon, it’s obvious – the beat keeps bouncing
The homicide rate keeps mounting, which leads
To steep discounting, and a lot of violence
But it’s not a virus; it’s a rational response
To high risk environments and short time horizons
With high stakes and highly visible prizes
And you wonder why we’re criminal-minded
Hey, you can’t say we’ll get satisfaction if we’re patient
With self-control and delayed gratification
When the only job that pays is casket-makin’
And death is the ultimate plan cancellation
So check the facts and recent data releasin’
You’ll see a pattern of increasin’ competition
A bunch of young guys all stugglin’ and status seekin’
And causin’ the crimes that make the social fabric weaken
And life expectancy also predicts teen pregnancy
The need to leave a legacy genetically
Will never be completely controlled contraceptively
Yeah, that’s transparent – imagine if your kids
Would never meet their grandparents, unless you followed
The Bristol Palen plan for parenthood
And then they say, “Ooh, these young girls are so damn careless
Getting’ pregnant before marriage; it’s such a tragedy”
Apparently it’s also a reproductive strategy,
Especially when you can see them adjusting actively
When their circumstances change; in both the cases
Of the young ladies with babies and the male risk-takers
You see people adapting to their situations
And it’s the same in different places and with different races
This is not about ethical justifications
It’s evolutionary psych, and it’s just the basics
And still people call this behaviour “maladaptive”
Because of our reaction when violence happens
But if we really want to change the outcome
Then maybe we should just start questioning how it’s adaptive
And the bottom line is that inequity and life
Expectancy are the ultimate causes of crime
And the results of crime; to me that’s true
The two combine together in a feedback loop
But I got some moves to make, so I’ll be back soon
Just don’t ask me what I’m about to do
‘Cause I can’t say, so it’s left to untold fact
Until my death, my ghost will stay alive
Survival of the fit, only the strong survive

Yeah, we livin’ this ‘til the day that we die
Survival of the fit, only the strong survive

Yeah, on this block I stand
Click-clack in my hand
What it means to be a man
Hope your gun don’t jam
I’ma do what I can
On this money-makin’ plan
And if you never did before
I hope now you understand
Track Name: Group Selection 2.0
Tribal unity styles
Darwin’s right
the logic’s tight
Tribes that unite win
the evolutionary fight

“Survival of the fittest” that phrase gets twisted
All the time to justify the meager existence
That poor people live with; it gets enlisted
By social parasites just in it for self-interest
Like psychopaths and eugenicists
And deregulated traders of economic derivatives
But listen, “Social Darwinism”
Is not scientific, it’s a kind of sickness
Just ‘cause something exists in a state of nature
Doesn’t give it a moral basis; that’s a false correlation
Competition is a great motivator
But humans are social, we’re supercooperators
Why? ‘Cause we survive or we die in groups
And the survivors make the best combined moves
So, can’t we all just get along
Whatever we try and do?

Everybody’s thinkin’ survival, no
Makin’ everybody their rival, no
Unite the tribe, and we will rise
Together, together

Yeah, group selection puts me in an altruistic mood
So don’t try to tell me that I’m just confused
Haven’t you ever been part of a synergistic group
That’s just 'in the groove'?
Like: Yeah, love thy neighbour! What’s that?
You need some sugar? Okay, come by later!
Of course I’ll do you a favour; why’s that?
‘Cause I’ve got the compassion of a vampire bat
If you need some food, I’ll do what I can
So what if we’re not related; you’re still my man
You’re still my sister; I feel high, man!
This universal love is good stuff, god damn!
This isn’t wishful thinking y’all
This is how altruism evolves
Some people say group selectionism is false
But I say let the evidence call it

Everybody’s thinkin’ survival, no
Makin’ everybody their rival, no
Unite the tribe, and we will rise
Together, together

There ain’t no need for direct reciprocation either
Because “karma” is a sophisticated teacher
Karma isn’t just energy waves in the ether!
No, karma’s in the way everyone hates a cheater
Cheater detection will keep you in check when
People feel like you don’t treat ‘em with respect
So go ahead and run me down
‘Cause I believe what goes around comes around
You wanna be a pariah? That’s fine with me
Liars and thieves and those who try to deceive
Get dealt with by reputation and by the police
All the immune systems of society
And “survival of the fittest”? Don’t it baffle you
“Fitness” is just another word for “aptitude”
Between you and the habitat you’re adapted to
So try to relax, and adapt your attitude
The habitat you have to adapt to is the group
‘Cause without the group, man, you would be panther food
So stop asking what the group can do for you
And ask what you can do for the group
Is that cool?

Everybody’s thinkin’ survival, no
Makin’ everybody their rival, no
Unite the tribe, and we will rise
Together, together

Back to back
We unite the wolfpack

Unite the tribe, and we will rise
Together, together
Track Name: Worst Comes To Worst 2.0
Worst comes to worst, my people come first
But my tribe lives on every country on earth
I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt
The human race is what I serve

Some people got good friend; I’ve got disparate friends
They live on different ends of earth, but just pretend
We actually get to the end of the time of tribalism
Like Obama said, and dissolve the lines of difference
As man advances in civilization
And small tribes expand into larger bases
And communities, the truest reason tells each individual
That’s it’s not that difficult to extend our instinctual
Sympathies to all members of one nation
Like, for instance, notice how everybody loves Canadians
Overseas, even if they’re personally unknown
Well so do I! But not so much when I come home
When I meet them abroad, they’re just more fun to know
Or maybe when I’m away, I just let the love go
Either way, what’s to stop us extending these basic
Sympathies to the people of all nations and all races
I’m just takin’ Charles Darwin’s statements, and makin’
Them rhyme, he was a man ahead of his time
Extending his imagination and formidable mind
Into a future where all human sympathies combine

Worst comes to worst, my peoples comes first
But my tribe lives on every country on earth
I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt
The human race is what I serve

In the South Pacific Islands, there’s certain animals that don’t
Experience fear, like Galapagos iguanas
They never had predators, so their adaptive responses
Evolved to be as calm as a pack of Dalai Llamas
So then, why do we have to live with violence
When this whole planet could be like a pacifistic island?
Do we need fear to escape invading aliens?
The only predators here are called Homo sapiens
And yeah, we can be dangerous, but we can also be
Motivated by affection and positive reciprocity
Stop the violence, right? We can all agree!
But violence comes from the fear of predators stalkin’ me
See, violence is never entirely senseless
Natural selection, that’s how you make sense of it
We just gotta identify what triggers a threat switch
And redesign society to disconnect it
And then instinct will take care of the rest of it
It’s a simple idea, but when it’s widely comprehended
Then I predict a world of aligned interests
Where the people are as peaceful as Galapagos finches

Worst comes to worst, my peoples comes first
But my tribe lives on every country on earth
I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt
The human race is what I serve

Where there’s no pain
There will be joy
And where there’s no fear
There will be love
There will be joy
There will be love
Track Name: Dr. Tatiana
It’s all about sex
Evolution…
It’s all about sex

Some people say my obsession with biodiversity
Is a sign of perversity, but I find that it nurtures me
Maybe it’s twisted, but I won’t give a lady a minute
Unless she’s a Batesian mimic, does that make me a cynic?
I’m into animal role-play, but fuck a barnyard
I want some praying mantis open-mandible cannibal foreplay
So read Dr. Tatiana if you need the basics
She’s deeper than the fuzzies you find creepin’ on craigslist
Plus she’s got a message board, full of insectivores
Who are just itchin’ for it – she’s like a sex thesaurus
I met a crab spider who was keen on finding a mate
Her turn-ons included binding and trying to escape
I met a gold-digger who told me fame was her weakness
So I paid her like a cockroach, with anal secretions
Yeah, I’m nasty as I wanna be, jerkin’ off in front of females
Like juvenile marine iguanas on the beach
‘Cause I’m packin’ a eight-inch corkscrew, I’m a great fuck
I wanna spin it in like an Argentinian lake duck
Yeah, when natural selection reckons your sex practice
The best action is always found in the mismatches

Let’s make love like animals
I think you know what I’m talkin’ about
Let’s make love exactly like other animals
Get your zoology textbook out

This one girl was quite freakish, I wasn’t squeamish
But we simply couldn’t fit it in - we tried to squeeze it
But she had a six-inch long clitoris like a hyena’s
And I had a spiky inflatable damselfly penis
Ah, skip the spider’s kiss of death
Just give me ten consecutive weeks of sex like stick insects
I make solid sperm plugs to try to block girls
But I hate when they pull it out and eat it like fox squirrels
Those are precious resources, I’m really concerned
Humans only bust a couple of hundred million sperm
So we start to get depleted after the third shag
Octopus have ten billion in a massive sperm bag
And they die when they deposit it, that’s just one way
Nature might try to persuade a guy to stay monogamous
But we must have missed something compared to our chimp cousins
‘Cause those chicks’ll hit a dozen different studs and just love it
So I feel like I’m overdressed for bonobo sex
All I need is a swollen vulva and a vocal “Yes!”
No? Okay, instead I’ll marry my soul-mate
‘Til death do us part, the prairie vole way

Let’s make love like animals
It’s been happening since the stone age
Let’s make love exactly like other animals
Open up that wikipedia page

Let’s make love like angler fish
It’s kind of complicated but it’s worth it
You use your highly developed olfactory sense
To swim towards me for several days
And then you bite me
And that releases an enzyme
That dissolves your face and your bones and your fins
Leaving only a pair of genitals attached
To the side of my body
For me to use when it’s convenient
Track Name: Sexual Selection 2.0
Charles Darwin saw natural selection, not sexual selection
But natural selection as the most serious cause of evolution
But what was going on with bird songs and peacocks?
They follow mysterious laws – but then Darwin had a curious thought

It probably occurred to him while he was trying to explain his theory
To a young Victorian blond, whose face displayed
A mixture of desire and feverish awe
The immediate cause of which Darwin clearly saw… yee-ah

So he said: “My dear, descent with modification comes from
The struggle for survival and reproduction
Hence, the reason for some structures must be seduction… wassup!
In fact, Darwin’s brain was probably one such structure

Just as peacocks’ tails show off the genes of the top males
And likewise the songs of nightingales, the fighting skills of elephant seals
And minnows with colourful scales, see these are all traits that sexual selection
Has shaped through the female preference to get with the fittest mates

But in the case of human brains that selective pressure goes both ways
Male to female and female to male
Pretty much anything in nature that’s just for display, just for showing off
And isn’t meant dissuade or chase predators away, like camoflauge

Must have been selected for in a sexual way, anything in nature
That’s just for display and has no survival value… but wait
Doesn’t that mean this is just such a display?
Right now, at this very moment… no way, it’s a mistake

I swear, I really did come here with something to say
But, they’re telling me it’s just a demonstration of my DNA?
And so what if it is? That’s great, what’s to explain?
Okay, maybe a couple of things. First, when I say that something ornate

Like language, originally evolved as a seductive display
I am not arguing that people only use it just to get laid
Darwin leaves Freud in the dustbin, okay?
Something that evolved for one purpose can be used for a different purpose today

For instance, I could use a urine stream to put out a fire
But that doesn’t mean the penis evolved as bush fire fighter
This is a theory of language function, a theory of where it comes from;
What it’s used for now, well that is a separate discussion;

So which was it? Was complex language originally a mechanism
For survival or reproduction? It must have been one of them
I’m talking about complex language now, not simple language
Like “Ooh look, snake, don’t step!” Think about it

How would complex language possible help you survive in the stone age?
Can you talk a predator out of attacking?
Can you talk a parasite out of infecting?
Can you talk a potential mate in to consenting?

Potentially, right? Not necessarily, but potentially
Hence, presenting the grand unified theory of rhyme
Where does rhyme come from? I’m talkin’ about Homer, Beowulf
Chaucer, Shakespeare, Alexander Pope, Eminem, and Jay-Z, it’s all the same

The mating mind uses lyrical signs, combined with wit and wordplay
Conversation, humour and different narrative styles
To appraise the fitness of mates, both for the purpose of marriage ties
And for mates of the more temporary kind

These are the humble roots of the literary sublime
We are all Shakespearean primates verbalizing our cherry behinds
But how could we possibly test this bizarre theory of mine?
Not just mine, also Geoffrey Miller’s

Ideally, we could use experimental holding zoos
Filled with human subjects, we could feed them some booze
And with an overhead view we could observe which breeding pairs reproduce
And how often they use their verbal ornaments to seduce

We could even separate them into control groups, to see whether male
Or female vocals are more prone to be used in the stimulation of hormones
Although, it’s true that this sort of experiment, on humans
Isn’t normally approved – outside of nightclubs

If only there existed in a state of nature some cultural group we could study
That was preoccupied with makin’ paper, and parading
Half-naked women shakin’ their money makers in front of competitive males
Displaying mating behaviour while trading their creativity for sexual favours

If such a group existed, I predict it would be a major player
In the entertainment industry, and would be in major danger
Of being overwhelmed by angry player haters
But I may have to save some of my research for later

And how do I answer the charge that I’m participating
In this mating dance myself with these dazzling bars? That isn’t hard
I plead guilty – I worked hard to achieve this ability
And if it also gives my genes visibility for females

Then I say “so be it” – But, I confess, if you look close
It also reveals my unique disability
See, my tendency to tell these monkey fables and funny medieval tales,
It generally fails to attract any nubile young females

It does attract women a lot though – all highly educated
And post-menopausal! I know, isn’t it awful? I get mobbed after my shows
By hoards of groupie grandmas who thank me for making it possible
For them to appreciate a hip-hop flow

And, you might ask, where are their granddaughters?
My guess is, they’re all at gangster rap concerts
But hey, that’s how sexual selection works
Any mutation, such as myself, gets tested first

And if it doesn’t get spread, well, then it gets purged
So this experimental hip-hop mix where it gets crossed
With classic scientific works and literature and lectures
Will probably get the burial that it deserves

That is, unless you spread it, like whispers
So tell your friends about me, huh? Find me some new listeners
Or write about me online, let the gossip disperse
So that even if I die, my name survives in the Twitterverse
Track Name: Hypnotize 2.0
Baba, Baba, Baba, can’t you see
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me
And I just love your turns of phrase
So even though you’re still broke I love you anyway

Sicker than your average; picture
Any artistic practice, with musicians or actors
Or visual craftsman; just pick an example
And imagine the competitive advantages
That would come with recognition if you have the gift
Now picture the artist with unlimited cash, and with
Picturesque women always givin’ him glances
Or, if you’re picturing a woman, then picture the advances
Of the handsome prince whose attention she catches
Now, picture them livin’ happily ever after
And havin’ kids faster than Angie and Brad Pitt
All because they have this gift with craftsmanship
Now take it from the master of the adjectives
I think it’s adaptive; it has to be instinct
In synch with the rhythm, just listen and sink
Deep into the subconscious of the obnoxious
Sexual selection, I’m just tickin’ the boxes
And if you’re feelin’ it then mission accomplished

Baba, Baba, Baba, can’t you see
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me
And I just love your turns of phrase
So even though you’re still broke, I love you anyway

Yeah, I could fill you with real scientific
Lyrics, but I confess that my mind is twisted
‘Cause I’ve been listenin’ to Kanye, Nas and Jay
While reading Richard Dawkins on the opposite page
So now this whole rap thing seems awfully strange
Talkin’ ‘bout, “He got game, and he’s not real
And he’s got chains” but wait, that’s a peacock’s tail!
‘Cause you never hear them say they got it cheap on sale
Which means that bling is meant to represent
How much they really spent, and at the end of the day
That’s the definition of a “fitness display”
Like a bowerbird’s nest, which takes hours of work
And makes the females catch a powerful urge
Just like a style of verse or an amazing flow
But it takes dedication and it takes a toll
‘Cause the best displays are unfakeable

Baba, Baba, Baba, can’t you see
Sometimes your words just hypnotize me
And I just love your turns of phrase
So even though you’re still broke, I love you anyway
Track Name: Used To Be The Man
Back in the day I used to scrap
I’m not a thug any more
But some days
I just wanna be the man again

Back in the day it seemed like every angry
Teen was talkin’ about packing a shank
And gettin’ cream – what happened to the gangsta lean?
Eric B and Rakim said: “What happened to peace?”
Now they askin' what happened to strength?
The women say they want girth now? Shit, what happened to length?
Sperm count goin’ down so we packin’ some blanks
And they laughin’ all the way to the bank
Man, things done changed! Where has all the violence gone?
Seems like people livin’ three times as long
Life just goes on, it’s like survival of the strong
Got swallowed by a Hobbesian Leviathan
And why not? Shit, I ain’t tryin’ to abolish it
Women dominate men in college, I acknowledge it
So next they’re gonna take over science and politics
And business, but I guess I’m just kinda nostalgic
I mean, at least fighting men know who they are
You meet a soldier he can show you some scars
But muscle can’t win a contest over some jobs
So now we’re just good for opening jars

I used to be the man
But time has gone on ahead of me
And my strong hands
But I'm still holdin' on, movin' on
I was the man
Time has not been so good to me
And my hands
I'm still holdin' on
I was the man

What a fuckin’ waste of upper body strength this is
I can dangle it for women like I’m angler fishin’
I got a voice full of bass, listen, ain’t it pimpin’?
But it came from male-on-male competition
And I’m afraid that’s a thing of the past
I mean things fall apart, don’t be thinkin’ they last
But I keep lookin’ for some answers when I listen’ to rap
Like lookin’ for the missing link in the grass
So where the gangsters at? The males barin’ they teeth
Starin’ at weak opponents like: “I dare you to speak”
The Menace to Societies and American Me’s
Not these wealthy, frail, weak, self-parodies
I mean, things done changed! Can you believe it?
Even the frickin’ crime rate seems to be dippin’
And some people give police credit, but I’m with Steven Levitt
High risk fetuses are being rejected
Just ‘cause females get to control their own fertility
So murder and poverty drop, but not sociability
What happened to the criminals on killing sprees
Instead of fighting now, we all show civility

I used to be the man
But time has gone on ahead of me
And my strong hands
But I'm still holdin' on, movin' on
I was the man
Time has not been so good to me
And my hands
I'm still holdin' on
I was the man

Forty percent of men historically left descendents
While six out of ten died young or got rejected
Big winners and big losers, but women had it different
Eight out of ten of them had children who had children
And you wonder why we’re fuckin’ obsessed with competition
Homo sapien males, yeah blazin’ a trail
Makin’ amazing creative displays, and chasin’ tail
That lasts an extra decade when it’s grey and frail
Yeah, the Y Chromosome is a fucked-up mutation
And it sucks to face it, they call her 'Mother Nature'
But if you want love from her, well, get accustomed to waitin’
‘Cause, brother, if you’re male she loves to hate you
She gives us testosterone, rage, and frustration
She gives us jealousy and lust, and a hunger for greatness
Plus our obsession with female reproduction is basic
But the women gotta have choice. Fuck the 'Bush Administration'
Times change, this ain’t the Pleistocene
Feminism and civil rights have arrived on the scene
And not every guy is keen to let the violence be
I'm just tryin' to tame the beast inside of me

I used to be the man
But time has gone on ahead of me
And my strong hands
But I'm still holdin' on, movin' on
I was the man
Time has not been so good to me
And my hands
I'm still holdin' on
I was the man

Back in the day I used to scrap
I’m not a thug any more
But some days
I just wanna be the man again
Track Name: Don't Sleep With Mean People
Yeah, this one goes out to the ladies!
Yeah, citizens of the world,
Let me tell you how it works if you’re new to this.
You can change it for the better:
Vote with your uterus!

Sexual selection is twisted; it’s not balanced
It gives us the best of our gifts and odd talents
Anything that’s useless for survival like music
Anything attractive, that charms and seduces
Like language usage, my vocab is so fab
I spin a web with it, and the centre is my gonads
It’s nothing but a mating dance I can admit it
But I can’t escape it, no chance, I’m locked in it
Like a tree, deep rooted, so people see through it
I’m a freak by nature thanks to evolution
But so are you, the relevant dramas that you’re goin’ through
Sexual selection selected them too
So if you feel the hormone rush, testify!
Try to see things objectively, but don’t objectify
It’s the eyes, they can’t take the pressure
They try to stare at your breasts but I can make an effort
The hours pass, my power’s sapped
I can’t choose an oblong physique over an hourglass
So it might seem like “mean” includes me
You can’t choose what to want, but you can choose what to eat

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, think about your granddaughters and grandsons
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
Mean people hold the gene pool for ransom

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, don’t reward your kids for throwin’ tantrums
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
If you wanna take the pledge, get your hands up

So what if we really did it, this silly business?
I mean use sex appeal to make a real difference
Like a field mission, to seek and enjoy
It’s gotta be the most powerful tool we can employ
We don’t need Freud; Darwin has the answers
Sexual selection can enhance us
Let’s make a competition out of altruism
If someone gives enough to charity, you’d better frolic with them
Generosity should be rewarded
And celibacy enforced on those who try to keep and hoard it
Of course I’m speaking mostly to women
‘Cause when it comes to reproduction you control the system
Men have a supporting role to play
But where you lead, best believe we’ll follow with no complaint
It’s time for a gender-based intifada
Aristophanes got it right with Lysistrata
More than two millennia ago, women in the know
Realized that it’s a lie that ‘men are in control’
So ladies, please, every time you fornicate
Just keep in mind, the future is yours to shape

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, think about your granddaughters and grandsons
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
Mean people hold the gene pool for ransom

Don’t sleep with mean people – that’s the anthem
Please, don’t reward your kids for thrown’ tantrums
Don’t sleep with mean people – pretty or handsome
If you wanna take the pledge, get your hands up
Track Name: Performance, Feedback, Revision 2.0
Performance, feedback, revision that’s how these vocals get written
I got a book full of scribbles, put a rhyme to the test then I fix it
Performance, feedback, revision that’s how I mastered this rhythm
It took a bit of practice but I cracked it now I rap with mad precision
Performance, feedback, revision that’s art and architecture
And engineering, that’s how we peer into the dark with guesswork
Performance, feedback, revision that’s the scientific method
You put a hypothesis to a double blind test, and if it isn’t right then reject it
Performance, feedback, revision that’s how your brain is wired
Behaviors that fire together can bind together and change desires
Performance, feedback, revision that’s your immune system
Antibodies react to pathogens and reproduce when a new one gets in
Performance, feedback, revision that’s natural selection
Some genes die and others survive and which is which is fitness
Performance, feedback, revision this isn’t just music
It’s descent with modification, and you owe your whole existence to it

Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
I scratch with my pen
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Go tell a friend


Every single strand of DNA in a cells is a masterpiece
Written by a genius, not God, nah, selected naturally
Performance, feedback, revision: evolution crafted genes
Just like mine, so I could write rhymes, to entice your mind to attract to me
Why? ‘Cause my passions just happen to get up in your synapses
And that makes women wanna mate, and men wanna make strategic ties happen
And sometimes women wanna make the ties, and that’s okay, I like friendships
And sometimes men wanna mate… thanks, but that’s not my preference
I got friends who lean that way, and that’s fine, it’s just a side-effect of
How their gay genes got made – by leaving live descendents
Yeah, you’re just a phenotype, performing all the genes inside
Living things only seem designed, ‘cause you can’t see how they’ve been revised
And the feedback lies in evolution’s brutal gaze
Either you have babies who have babies or get boo-ed off stage
But I ain’t evolution’s slave; just like you I like to get laid
And we can choose not to reproduce in this conceptive age

Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
I scratch with my pen
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Go tell a friend

So now you probably wanna know how a flow this dope gets written
Performance, feedback, revision plus a beat by Mr. Simmonds
My words impregnate your brain, does it give you morning sickness?
Or do you wanna spread it like an epidemic, and try to get some folks to listen?
Either way you can’t escape it, love me or hate me, you form an opinion
And your feedback comes back to me, and I make an informed decision
Should I change and adapt, or stick to the script and stay on track with it?
Oh I don’t black enough? Okay, should I switch it and fake my accent?
And if I did, and you call me a liar, then I’ll probably just say
That I’m just caught up in the game, just doin’ my thing and I’m not just playing
How you think I learned how to rap? You think I just turned on a track
And the words just splashed on the page like magic, and I never had to turn nothin’ back?
Performance, feedback, revision, that’s how I got this way
And in spite of what they might say, it’s the same for Lady Gaga and Dr. Dre
Performance, feedback, revision, that’s how you got your nature
And that’s how you re-create yourself through improvisation

Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
I scratch with my pen
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Performance, feedback, revision repeat again
Go tell a friend

(freestyle)
Every single word you heard on the track until this point was written rhymes
But now it’s time for me to switch it up and give you something improvised
‘Cause just like Jay-Z and Lil Wayne I can freestyle for days
With no mistakes, except it takes me eighty eight takes
When I spit my shit that’s how I mutate my genes
And you can interact with my lyrics like a Turing Machine
Yup, ‘cause I’m reppin’ Darwinism everytime I record to the rhythm
It takes a lotta mutations to make an organism
It takes a whole lotta mutations to make an organism… shit
Track Name: Darwin's Acid 2.0
In 1859 Darwin spilled the first splashes
Of his universal acid, and the effects were like magic
Burning human arrogance into ashes
In pretty much the same way that Copernican math did
No, the stars don’t shine just to improve the view from earth
No, we’re not the centre of the universe
No, we were not created in the image of Jupiter
No, we’re not so special, and yes, the truth hurts
But that’s how evolution works – once it’s been applied
The acid burns into the superstitious side
Of the human mind, and fills it with light
It even dissolves the original sin of pride
That pride that says: “I’m a special creation
And my creator has given me dominion over nature
And he has the power to replenish his creatures
So if species go extinct, he can just recreate them later
And if he doesn’t, well that’s just part of his plan”
Ah, but Darwin’s acid is hard to withstand
It plucks the arrogance deep from within the hearts of man
And teaches us never to build our houses on sand
But instead to try to understand why we’re here
We are just one species among millions in this biosphere
And we have millions of ancestors behind us, whose fighting spirits
Combined to give us this great survival gear
These minds, these limbs, these incredible tools
Perfected by millennia of constant competitive use
And yes, these attention-seeking genitals too
Without them, these living forms could never improve
It’s such an elegant view, so full of breadth and grandeur
And yet, some people react with depression and anger
Like: “It’s so unsympathetic, so viciously random!
What’s the point of compassion, or ethical standards?
If this is all just a game that these mindless organisms are trapped in
And they’re just genetically adapting to environmental factors
Then there’s no responsibility for individual actions!
It’s nihilistic! Where’s the governing dynamic?!?”
No it’s not, and once again Darwin gives us some answers
He says yes, everything from violence to violets to viruses
It’s all just organisms adapting to environments
If you’re alive, it’s because your ancestors were the best survivalists
They were the finalists in the genetic Olympic Games
Every one of your ancestors survived to reproductive age
And they were all better than their competitors at getting laid
Otherwise, you wouldn’t be sitting here today
Some say “that’s cynical” but I see something inspirational in this vision
Of Darwin’s and it goes like this: organisms – like us – are not isolated
Organisms are also part of the environmental mix
So your decisions affect evolution – it isn’t directionless – we can direct it!
Now, before you dismiss me as a mad environmentalist, just try
To imagine how the process of natural selection applies
To countries that have industrialized
See, just like organisms, companies live and companies die
And when customers buy based on a company’s ethics, or it’s green plan
That affects the economy, just ask Alan Greenspan
Cultural evolution is ours to reinvent
Wait, can we affect current events? Yes We Can!
And when we choose who to sleep with and reproduce
Our sexual choices affect the gene pool
So if we want things to improve, it’s simple, all we need to do
Is refuse to sleep with mean people
Especially women – on you the pressure is greater
‘Cause men will always do what it takes to get into your favour
That’s just in our nature, so if selfish behaviour
Was a sexual graveyard, the effects would be major!
In each of these cases, our intentional efforts
Can play the role of those environmental pressures
I can say: “This is a space where a peaceful existence
Will never be threatened by needless aggression”
I can say: “This is an ecosystem where people listen
Where justice increases over egotism”
I can say: “This is a space where religions finally achieve co-existence
And racism decreases with each coalition”
This is my vision of Darwinism, and how we all factor in
Each of us is a part of the environment; we each pass through it
And we change it, and affect the way that others will adapt to it
And after we get to look back and see how we impacted it
And maybe have a laugh if our sense of humour is still alive
And what did Charles Darwin do with his time? Darwin threw some light
On the origin of humankind, and he left us with skewered pride
But he taught us that, yes, there’s grandeur in this view of life
There is grandeur in this view of life
And the fact that it also happens to be true, is nice
But I can’t say it as well as Mr. Charles Darwin
So come on, let’s hear your version, from the Origin

“There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one, and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning, endless forms most beautiful, and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.”
Charles Darwin, On the Origin of Species